– Atoofa Nasiha
Who do you think you talk to the most in your day?
Think again. It’s not your best friend, not your mother, not your teacher, not even your colleague or your partner. The person you talk to the most is you.
Self-Talk: The Ongoing Dialogue in Our Head
That voice in your head is constantly speaking. When you’re working, walking, scrolling, thinking, sitting, crying, or trying to fall asleep, it is there. The thoughts keep rising and spiraling in your mind. And the way you respond to them makes all the difference.
That voice, which is often unheard by the world, is the most powerful sound in your life.
You may not realise it, but what you say to yourself builds you or breaks you. It’s not the harsh opinions of the world or the deep betrayals that decide how you live. It’s the words you tell yourself about those things. Your self-talk is like an internal script that repeats and shapes how you feel, act, and exist.
That’s why catching those silent sentences is important.
When your mind says: “I’m not good enough,” or “I keep failing,” or “No one really cares,” it isn’t just a thought but an instruction. And the more you repeat it, the more your brain starts to believe it and act accordingly. That’s how habits, behaviours, and even beliefs are formed, not from what happens around us but from what we repeatedly tell ourselves in response.
Waswas: The Infiltration of Negativity
But here’s something deeper, not all self-talk is self-made.
Sometimes the thoughts we hear are not from our own selves at all. They come in so slyly that we think it’s us. But in reality, they are whisperings known as waswas (as the Quran mentions) from the Shaytan.
He is always around, waiting for a moment of vulnerability to plant a seed of doubt, fear, or self-hate.
The Qur’an mentions in Surah An-Naas:
“From the evil of the lurking whisperer,
Who whispers in the hearts of humankind.”
(Surah An-Naas, 114:4–5)
This whisper can take the form of, “You are a burden,” “No one will forgive you,” “Your worship is meaningless,” or “You don’t belong here.”
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“Shaytan comes to one of you and says, ‘Who created this and that?’ till he says, ‘Who created your Lord?’ When he inspires such a question, one should seek refuge with Allah and give up such thoughts.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Recognising waswas is vital. If a thought makes you feel hopeless, worthless, or distant from Allah, chances are, it’s not coming from you or your fitrah. It is planted to paralyse your goodness.
What should you do? The Prophet ﷺ taught us to seek refuge in Allah by saying:
“A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim.”
Translation: I seek refuge in Allah from the Shaitan, the outcast.
This act of seeking refuge is a powerful mental filter. It teaches us that not every voice in the mind deserves a seat at the table. Some must be dismissed before they take root.
The Spiritual Dialogue: Talking to Allah
Among all the conversations you have in your day, there is one that can ground you, lift you, and purify your soul, which is absolutely the conversation with Allah.
When we raise our hands in dua, or when our forehead touches the ground, we are talking. But more than that, our hearts are speaking. When we turn to Allah in private, we shed all pretences. We speak words we’ve never uttered aloud, and sometimes the tears flow without warning because that’s how deep, real, and intimate this connection is with our Lord.
This conversation doesn’t require perfect words. It only needs presence. It’s a plea, a whisper, a confession, a call for help, a sigh of gratitude. And it is always heard.
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“And your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.”
(Surah Ghafir, 40:60)
This conversation is unlike any other. Because no matter how scattered your words are, or how heavy your heart feels, Allah listens with knowledge, mercy, and care.
But here’s the catch you can’t talk and connect with Allah while constantly feeding your mind with filth. If your self-talk is corrupted, and your ears are open to whispers of negativity, your heart won’t find the space to sincerely speak to Him. So, cleaning the inner space is necessary. That’s when the soul feels lighter and can communicate. That’s when the heart recognises that Allah is near and closer than your own jugular vein (Surah Qaf, 50:16).
Science Behind It: What the Mind Mirrors and the Body Remembers
Now let’s visit a surprising connection between what we say, what we think, what we absorb, and how it all affects our body.
Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist, conducted a fascinating study on how words can affect the structure of water molecules. He exposed water to different words, music, and thoughts. When kind and positive words like “love” or “thank you” were used, the water crystals formed beautiful, symmetrical patterns under a microscope. But when hateful or negative words like “you fool” were spoken, the crystals became chaotic and disfigured.
[Reference: Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages in Water, 2004]
Considering that around 70% of the human body is water, what does this tell us?
It tells us that words, even unspoken ones, hold power. The way we talk to ourselves, the way we respond to thoughts, even the energy we hold inside, can affect our internal state in physical ways. Our cells, our brain, our body, they are listening.
[See also: Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief, 2005]
Modern neuroscience adds another layer. The concept of neuroplasticity tells us that our brains are constantly being reshaped by our thoughts. The more we repeat a certain line of thought whether it’s “I’m not capable” or “Allah is with me” the stronger those neural pathways become.
[Reference: Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself, 2007]
So when Islam teaches us to make dhikr (remembrance), speak good words, and think well, it isn’t just for reward. It is for healing. These practices protect the brain, cleanse the heart, and align the body. As Surah Ar-Ra’d (13:28) reminds us,
“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”
And also the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“A good word is charity.”
(Muslim, Book 12, Hadith 56)
It turns out, that good word doesn’t always have to be said to someone else.
It can begin with what you say to your own self.
