Seeking Strength from Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام Life and Science
– Atoofa Nasiha
My Dear Allah,
“I have got scars, healed scars. I can’t even remember how it burnt when I first got them. But their words, they still prick my heart. Words should fade like wounds do, but instead, they stay alive, piercing again and again. I tell myself not to care, not to let it matter, but Ya Rabb, it does. I replay their insults in my head, wondering if maybe they’re right about me. My smile hides the sting, but inside, I’m bruised by words no one else can see. Sometimes I wish I could be numb, but instead, I feel everything, and it hurts.”
People insulting us definitely hurt. And if it happens in public, the sting seems even sharper because everyone sees it, and we feel exposed. And if we see a level further, when the insults come from our own family, the heartbreak cuts even deeper because foremostly they are the people from whom we seek love, respect and protection.
But why do people insult others? Sometimes it comes from jealousy, insecurity, or their own pain. Other times, people speak without thinking, wanting to feel superior or to control a situation. Often, the words have more to do with them than with us, yet that doesn’t make the hurt any less real.
Allah talks about Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام in the Qur’an. The Prophet, known for his beauty. He faced insults and false accusations throughout his life, from his own brothers, from strangers, and even from those in positions of authority. Despite everything, Allah calls his story Ahsan Ul Qasas – The Best Of Stories.
But how and why? Let’s see.
How Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام was tested with insults
Being applauded by the family has been a common man’s dream. And when the same family turns bitter against us, we feel a heavy void in our hearts, the words repeat, the insults become immortal because they come from the same people we have shared our life with.
Allah talks about Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام in the Qur’an as a young boy blessed with beauty and wisdom. His life parallels the emotional journey as he faced immense trials and insults from family to strangers to kings throughout his life.
Being insulted by siblings would sound familiar, and we would think it does not cause any great harm. And that is how siblings bond with each other. But if the same insults are spit from the core of the heart, if those insults are uttered to hurt or perhaps to cause even greater harm, the siblings turn into the greatest betrayers.
Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام own brothers grew jealous of him and spoke harsh words, plotting against him out of envy. Allah mentions:
إِذْ قَالُوا۟ لَيُوسُفُ وَأَخُوهُ أَحَبُّ إِلَىٰٓ أَبِينَا مِنَّا وَنَحْنُ عُصْبَةٌ إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِى ضَلَـٰلٍۢ مُّبِينٍ
And call to mind when the brothers of Joseph conferred together and said: “Surely Joseph and his brother are dearer to our father than we are, although we are a group of so many. Our father is clearly mistaken.” (12:8)
It could be because they think too highly of themselves when Allah alone is the Greatest. It could be because they have been pessimistic all their lives, and along with insulting, they may also act negatively in other areas of their lives. Or it could be because of envy. When people envy you, they try to put you down, and insulting is one such way.
In ayah 12:8, we see the first seed of insult and jealousy. His own brothers questioned his worth before their father, casting doubt on Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام place in the family. Their words were sharp, intended to hurt, and they were planning a grave action against him.
The brothers’ envy led to their cruel plan to throw Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام into a well, showing how insults sometimes escalate into harmful actions. Allah then narrates the outcome:
فَلَمَّا ذَهَبُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَأَجْمَعُوٓا۟ أَن يَجْعَلُوهُ فِى غَيَـٰبَتِ ٱلْجُبِّ ۚ وَأَوْحَيْنَآ إِلَيْهِ لَتُنَبِّئَنَّهُم بِأَمْرِهِمْ هَـٰذَا وَهُمْ لَا يَشْعُرُونَ
So when they went away with Joseph and decided to cast him in the bottom of the dark pit, We revealed to Joseph: “Surely a time will come when you will remind them of their deed. They know nothing about the consequence of what they are doing.” (12:15)
It has been proved that our thoughts, assumptions, and perceptions are reflected in our words, and eventually, they turn into actions. Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامbrothers held wrong perceptions about their father’s love toward them and mistaken assumptions about Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام, which led them to throw their own brother into the well. But even when insulted and betrayed, Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام’s life continued under Allah’s protection. He was rescued and eventually sold as a servant in Egypt, where further tests awaited.
In the house of his master, the wife attempted to seduce him and insulted his character when he resisted. Allah recounts:
وَرَٰوَدَتْهُ ٱلَّتِى هُوَ فِى بَيْتِهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِۦ وَغَلَّقَتِ ٱلْأَبْوَٰبَ وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ ۚ قَالَ مَعَاذَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ رَبِّىٓ أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَاىَ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُفْلِحُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ
And it so happened that the lady in whose house Joseph was living, sought to tempt him to herself, and one day bolting the doors she said: “Come on now!” Joseph answered: “May Allah grant me refuge! My Lord has provided an honourable abode for me (so how can I do something so evil)? Such wrong-doers never prosper.” (12:23)
Despite being falsely accused by her and insulted through the lie she spread, Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام remained patient. He recognised it as one of the many tests of life and held firmly to the truth that only Allah is the One who grants honour. His resistance to slander, insults, and false accusations shows that such things do not define a person’s worth when their trust rests with Allah.
Later, when he was imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام endured further humiliation and isolation. Allah describes his patience and faith during this time:
ثُمَّ بَدَا لَهُم مِّنۢ بَعْدِ مَا رَأَوُا۟ ٱلْـَٔايَـٰتِ لَيَسْجُنُنَّهُۥ حَتَّىٰ حِين
Then it occurred to them to cast Joseph into prison for a while even though they had seen clear signs (of Joseph’s innocence and of the evil ways of their ladies).
(12:35)
Through every insult, betrayal, and hardship, Allah’s plan for Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامcontinued. Eventually, his character, patience, and reliance on Allah elevated him to a position of honour:
وَرَفَعَ أَبَوَيْهِ عَلَى ٱلْعَرْشِ وَخَرُّوا۟ لَهُۥ سُجَّدًۭا ۖ
And after they had entered the city, Joseph raised his parents to the throne beside himself, and they (involuntarily) bowed in prostration before him.
(12:100)
Finally, after years of trials, Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام was reunited with his family, and those who had insulted or wronged him were humbled. He did not respond to insults or accusations with retaliation, and Allah elevated his status from the dark pit of the well to the throne of Egypt. Allah reminds us:
وَٱللَّهُ يَرْزُقُ مَن يَشَآءُ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍۢ
As for worldly livelihood, Allah grants it to whomsoever He wills without measure. (2:212)
And how should we respond to insults? By insulting back or seeking revenge in other ways? Guess what Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام did when he finally met his brothers.
قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلْيَوْمَ ۖ
He replied: “No blame lies with you today. (12:92)
يَغْفِرُ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ ٱلرَّٰحِمِينَ
May Allah forgive you. He is the Most Merciful of all those that are merciful. (12:92)
This was his response. This shows the level of humility Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام had. The question also comes back to us: if we are insulted or harmed in any way, will our response be like Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام?
If we reflect on all these ayahs together, we see a clear pattern in Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام’s life. His story shows that even when the world seems against us, Allah’s plan is never absent. The hurt and humiliation were real, but turning to Allah, staying steadfast, and trusting His guidance carried Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام from darkness to light.
Now think about it. Haven’t we all experienced moments when words or actions of others cut deep, leaving us feeling isolated or unfairly judged? Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام’s journey reminds us that such trials, no matter how painful, are part of life’s tests. What feels unbearable in the moment can become a stepping stone to honour, growth, and eventual relief when we place our complete trust in Allah.
Why Insults Hurt Like Wounds: a scientific perspective
When someone insults us, the brain treats it like a threat. Neuroimaging studies show that social rejection and insults activate the same neural regions involved in physical pain, especially the anterior cingulate cortex and parts of the amygdala. That is why an insult can feel as real and immediate as a physical wound. Recognising this helps us know the reaction is biological, not a moral failing.¹
Being publicly shamed or judged also triggers stress hormone responses. Laboratory research and meta-analyses find that social-evaluative threats when we fear negative judgment raise cortisol and other stress markers. That fight-or-flight chemistry explains why your heart races, your chest tightens, and thinking feels foggy after an insult. Knowing this is no excuse, but it explains why control feels hard in the moment.²
Strong Minds Reframe and Recover
Strong personalities do not have a magic shield against hurt. Rather, they tend to use effective emotion regulation strategies. Cognitive reappraisal, for example, means reframing the meaning of the insult (it’s about them, not you), and this strategy reliably reduces negative emotion and lowers amygdala activation in brain studies. People who practise reappraisal experience less anger and recover faster. This is a skill, not just a trait. [Ochsner & Gross; Goldin et al., Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience / Clinical.³
Simple psychological tools also work. Self-affirmation exercises reminding yourself of core values or strengths reduce defensiveness when you’re threatened and make the insult less damaging to your sense of self. These are small, evidence-based steps you can take right after being hurt that protect your long-term wellbeing.⁴
Support and Spiritual Anchors
Social support is a major buffer. The classic buffering hypothesis shows that friends, family, or a supportive community reduce the physiological and psychological toll of stress and insults. Even perceived support believing someone has your back lowers the stress response. This is why going through hurt in isolation often makes things worse.⁵
Mindfulness and breath-based practices change the brain over time. Repeated practice decreases reactivity in threat-related regions and strengthens prefrontal circuits that help regulate emotion. That is why short breath work, dhikr, or mindful prayer can calm immediate physical symptoms and, when practised regularly, reduce the frequency and intensity of reactive upset.⁶
Belief and spiritual practice add another layer of resilience. Work on religion and coping finds that seeing God as a secure source of support, using prayer as an emotion regulation tool, and framing trials within a meaning-making perspective all relate to lower distress and better recovery after hurt. In other words, faith can operate like social and cognitive support: it helps reframe the insult and supplies a felt sense of being cared for.⁷
Relating to the Prophet Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام
When we relate these scientific insights to Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام’s life, we see the human side of enduring insults. His brothers’ betrayal, the slander from the woman of the house, and the false accusations from others all triggered fear, confusion, and hurt. Science shows that insults activate the same neural pathways as physical pain, and stress hormones rise when we are judged or shamed. Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام experienced these pressures too, yet he maintained patience, integrity, and trust in Allah.
His story reminds us that strong individuals are not immune to emotional pain. What sets Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام apart is his ability to regulate his responses, rely on support, and remain anchored in purpose. Modern psychology confirms that reframing insults, drawing on social or spiritual support, and focusing on long-term meaning all reduce the impact of hurtful words. Just as Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام emerged from hardship to a position of honour, we too can navigate insults with patience and faith, knowing that true dignity comes from perseverance and trust, not from the opinions of others.
Lessons from the Qur’an and Science on Withstanding Accusations
- Hurt is real, but it does not define you – Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام was insulted by his brothers, accused by strangers, and even slandered in public. Yet, none of those words changed who he truly was. Science also shows that insults hurt because our brain processes them like physical pain, but pain does not equal truth. The same way Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام honour remained intact before Allah, your worth is never defined by what others say.
- Respond with patience, not retaliation – When Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام was accused, he did not lash out in anger. He stayed patient and kept his dignity. Psychology agrees that pausing before reacting helps regulate emotions and stops the cycle of negativity. Waiting, breathing, or silently reframing the situation can be more powerful than reacting back with harshness.
- Trust that honour belongs to Allah, not people – Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام went from being insulted and imprisoned to being raised to the throne of Egypt. That is Allah’s way of showing that He alone grants honour. Science, in its own way, agrees: people who anchor their self-worth in stable values like faith rather than in others’ opinions, recover faster from insults and rejection.
- Seek support and reassurance – Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام turned to Allah, and Allah’s plan included reunification with his family. Having faith or even a supportive person to lean on acts as a protective shield. Psychology calls this the buffering effect social and spiritual support softens the blow of hurtful words.
- Make meaning from the pain – Every insult Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام endured became part of the story that Allah Himself called “the best of stories.” When you connect your hardships to a bigger purpose, they stop being just wounds. Science calls this meaning-making, and it is strongly linked to resilience. Pain may not disappear, but it transforms into strength.
- Use accusations as opportunities for growth – Every stage of Yusuf’s عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامtrial refined his patience, strengthened his faith, and prepared him for leadership. Science agrees that adversity can foster resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills. Painful experiences, when endured, can become stepping stones.
- Rely on Allah’s timing, not immediate vindication – Yusuf عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَام was not cleared of blame instantly; years passed before his innocence was publicly declared. Psychology finds that people who practise delayed gratification and long-term thinking cope better with injustice. Patience allows healing and eventual justice.
Dua for strengthening the heart and character
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ قَلْبًا سَلِيمًا وَنَفْسًا قَوِيَّةً وَعَمَلًا مُتَقَبَّلًا
O Allah, I ask You for a sound heart, a strong self, and deeds that are accepted.
(Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak, 1/57; graded authentic by Al-Albani in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah)
References
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